ok... so i guess it may be part my fault, but i straightened my hair this morning to see how people would react to it preliminarily. not bad, lotsa compliments, but this one chick, who is undeniably pretty, pretty told me i looked like crap. how can you argue with someone who's got perfect hair? so that alone cast my entire mood into a pit, wallowing in "what-ifs" and self-doubts, like i always do cuz im an emotional pansy on the inside. *cuts wrists* *halfhearted smile at a crappy joke*

And then i find out someone i care for greatly had a panic attack today and im never able to be there to help said person. Ever. and it blows because i can't be there to comfort them and make them feel better when it's needed most. T_T

And i feel more lonely than i should. maybe it's winter getting to me already or maybe a lack of proper sleep? Either way... i came to the conclusion that i flirt with girls whom i don't even really like just because i feel lonely and i want someone to associate with on a deeper level than what i have with them.... and it's BS that i pull this crap. even with the girl that rejected me on more than one occasion, possibly because im an obnoxious dick all the time.... that or she's a lesbian. im not certain.

On the bus a friend of mine, who the previous day, it felt, had been blaming me for all of America's problems and making up stupid crap like the war in Iraq etc. is because we're still chasing the SOVIETS! WTF?! the soviets are effing gone by 20 years plus!

AND! i come home, and aside from the homework and studying i never do, i have people to deal with. So this kid i know logs on IM and reminds me how my IM status has a ONE LETTER *$()%ING TYPO!!! and not just reminds me. but he reminds me like he's my mother and he's unhappy who i married and where i live. "I see you still havn't fixed that typo..." *$()% YOU! ¬¬ and so i open up and tell people about my situation, which works well and what-not, until one just kinda thinks of a joke, and im totally open to jokes and jeers when it's funny, but SHE WON'T TELL ME! and i told her to tell me or i was gonna be über POed... guess what? she didn't tell me. so i snapped and logged off without even replying and here i am now complaining to all the people out there who just don't even give half-a-rats-ass....

This blows...........

Sorry if i hurt anyones feelings.... ill probably appologise for it later depending on the severity of your offense....